stadium
ROUND [X] · QUEENSLAND COUNTRY BANK STADIUM · 26 AUG

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEEGAN — THE FIELD 0

GOLDEN POINT. Full time at Queensland Country Bank Stadium, and the birthday fixture has gone to the wire. The Field never scored. The Field never really looked like scoring.

Pixel-art portrait of a smiling bearded man in a backward cap and white shirt on a cyan background.
TEAM SHEET

The Career Line-Up

A career, named on the team sheet. Bench spots are not a comment on form.

Back of a navy athletic jersey with gold trim, “CRUICKSHANK,” and the number 7.

Relume

Starting · Fullback

Current club. Senior Software Engineer. Ships features with Marc-Antoine Roy. Official bio on the club website: 'Lorem ipsum.'

Bearded rugby player in a navy and yellow jersey runs through a stadium holding a rugby ball.

SafetyCulture

Second Row

Workplace safety and compliance software. A reliable run in the forwards.

Patchy grass and fallen leaves with an irregular white diagonal trail across the ground.

Mitchell Creative

Bench

Fresh legs. Warming up in case of injury.

Weathered rectangular card on a wooden surface bearing a symmetrical abstract golden geometric emblem.

Informatix

Bench

Also on the bench. Depth, they call it.

SEASON STATS

The Numbers

The season, reduced to a stat panel. Handle with care.

4,000+

Commits

Across the season, at all hours of the night.

350+

PRs merged

Reviewed, merged, shipped. Release notes credit 'Team · Marc & Keegan.'

1

Lorem ipsums written

The footer bio. It still says 'Lorem ipsum.'

0

Cowboys premierships since 2015

A number that has not moved in over a decade.

FULL TIME. KEEGAN — THE FIELD 0. GOLDEN POINT.

It was never going to be pretty, and it wasn't. In front of a packed Queensland Country Bank Stadium, the home side did what home sides do: they turned up, they ran the numbers, and they refused to lose.

The opening exchanges were cautious. Keegan, playing fullback for the Relume Cowboys, kept his composure under pressure, moving the ball through the hands of Marc-Antoine Roy and finding space where there was none. The commentators noted his footwork. The stats sheet noted his commits.

There were worrying signs in the second half. A historic 82-12 loss to the Roosters earlier in the season had briefly dropped the club to ninth, and you could feel the memory of it in the stands. But the home side held. They clung to eighth with two rounds to play, hot and cold, the way you'd expect from a side that hasn't won a premiership since 2015.

And then, with the siren looming, it happened. A golden point. Keegan [AGE] — The Field 0. The Field never scored. The Field never really looked like scoring. But that's the thing about golden point: it only takes one.

Post-match, the club's official bio still read 'Lorem ipsum.' Some things don't change. Some things don't need to.

The Commentator
Has never met him
FROM THE SHEDS

What They're Saying

A bit. Obviously. No real quotes from real named people were harmed in the making of this section.

Ink portrait of a smiling bearded man wearing a backward baseball cap and collared jacket.

I've seen him bring up the 2015 premiership unprompted. Three times. In one standup.

The Bloke on the Bench
Definitely not a real person
Pixel-art sprite sheet showing seven bearded athletes in navy and yellow uniforms celebrating on grassy panels.

He takes pride in everything he creates and respects everything he does not. I checked. It's right there in the bio.

A Man Named Todd
Also a bit
Ornate silver football trophy on a wooden base labeled “BIRTHDAY PREMIERSHIP.”

The Field never scored. I was there. I am the Field.

The Field
0 points, 0 premierships